Constructive Criticism vs Gossip

Hello, this is my second time writing this rant, however due to the fact that most of my anger went into the first version, I guess this one will be less violent wordwise.

What is Constructive Criticism?

Constructive critism is often given to help improve someone or something and is normally accompanied by solutions.

What is Gossip?

Gossip is a rumour about someone or something and can often harm the person or thing the gossip based around.

Now, I would like to just lay out my thoughts here.

Gossiping is wrong. It’s plain wrong. Why would anybody with a heart talk awful things about another human being. Gossip is a bunch of rumours. Rumours aren’t fact. They aren’t truth. They could be completely made up.

Yet society has been doing it for ages. Yes, it sells products, gains attention and causes commotion . Have we ever stopped to think about how the person the gossip is based around feels?

No. Because in our own little selfish worlds, we choose to participate in the fun and we choose to join the crowd that plays the role of the bully.

The people targeted in gossip often harm themselves because they feel as if the world is against them. What’s worse is that the gossip could be completely wrong and the person is being accused for something he or she is not.

A little note to all the people out there. The next time somebody  comes up to you and says something along the lines of ‘hey, wanna hear the latest gossip?’,  how about you say NO?

The thing is, we often give into things we don’t agree with because we feel the pressure to conform to society in order to be accepted by the rest. Maybe we fear being gossiped about ourselves. But if you have good morals, stand by them. Don’t be swayed just because you could be seen as ‘uncool’. Trust me, I’ve been there.

Moving on,

I understand that sometimes we have a person’s best interests in mind. But what I don’t understand is why people would talk bad about, label and judge others when they don’t know the whole story. These people may be good-hearted, but isn’t it still bullying? Think about it. If you’re accusing someone of something, and tell another person about it, but avoid telling the person you’re talking about at all costs, aren’t you spreading a story that isn’t complete?

There are always two sides to the story. Maybe there are three or four, but there are always, always, ALWAYS, more than one. So why would you base your opinion off of something that fully there?

If someone is at fault, tell them. If they can improve, tell them. Don’t talk about it to everyone BUT them. How are they supposed to improve if they don’t know there’s a problem. When you spread these things, eventually the person will find out. And they’ll be hurt because they don’t understand why they are being called these names, why they are being accused of something they are not.

We tend to always base our judgement off of what we see. Maybe that’s where we are wrong.

Construstive criticism plays a big part here. Like I said, if someone can improve, why not tell them instead of complaining or bashing them behind their backs.

I think it’s important to tell someone how you feel about them or ways to improve because if not they’ll never know and if they do, they won’t know why they are in the wrong and therefore they won’t be able to improve.

Besides that, grow some courage to tell someone your opinion about them. Now, I don’t mean tell them your opinion about their features or whatever not. Tell them things that they can improve on PERSONALITY-WISE or SKILL-WISE.

If someone on your sports team could practice being a better team player, why not tell them? If your class monitor could step up his or her role as a leader, why not tell them?

How is anybody supposed to improve if they aren’t being told their faults or weaknesses?

It’s important in cases such as where someone is being accused of something they are not. When someone tells that person their opinion on their ‘fault’ or weakness, that person can justify his or her reasons or atleast let that someone know their side of the story. Then both parties can understand each other.

And don’t let others do your work for you. I would personally like to know if I can improve and how and I would like the person who had the opinion of me needing to improve in the first place to tell me.

I think it’s nice when friends and family try to protect you and tell you what others think.

But why can’t those ‘others’ tell you themselves.

I’d like to know who I’m facing. I’d like to know why they think so. I’d like to know why they unfairly and injustly label people when they don’t know the whole story. I’d like to tell them how I feel about them talking about this ‘label’ to everyone they know. I’d like to tell them I’m hurt and that they should have talked to me about it instead of talking to everyone else.

Most of all, I’d like to forgive them. I’m sorry if I have wronged you, but in my personal opinion, you have wronged me too. You have the whole world thinking I am someone that I am not. Trust me, I wouldn’t care what the world thought. To me, what matters is how I stand before God. God knows my heart. But I want you to know it too. Especially since this ‘label’ hurts me. I would like to stand up for myself and defend myself. Maybe I am in the wrong. I wouldn’t know until you told me what you thought I was in the wrong for.

The Bible says that man looks at the outward appearance but the Lord looks at the heart.

So thank you God, for being so wonderful and perfect and for seeing me for who I am. Thank you for never giving up on me and for forgiving me when I am in the wrong.

To me, the Bible is fact. That’s why I can take comfort in it.

TO ALL THOSE WHO HAVE EXPERIENCED WHAT I HAVE,

It’s hard, it really is, and noone’s situation is the same as the next person. It’s important to know that you are not always right, and when people (example, loved-ones) try to advise you, listen to their advice. I’m stubborn myself but I know that those people care about me. What I also know is that they don’t know my side of the story. And I would appreciate if those people tried to understand my side as I try to understand theirs.

Getting told you’re wrong is hard, and that’s fine. But come out of it as a better person. Have a teachable spirit.

It’s hard to be positive in situations like these, but it’s always worth a try 🙂

Have a good week!

Isabel